


He peruvian green sauce

by DeadlyDosage



Category: South Park
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-28
Updated: 2014-04-28
Packaged: 2018-01-21 02:52:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,254
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1534886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeadlyDosage/pseuds/DeadlyDosage
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>((This is 110% not serious please so not take this serious omgh))</p><p>When Clyde and Token sign up for a taco making contest to win a Hatsune Miku blow up doll , all is well until Craig wants to join and the boys wont let him, so they try to disclose him as a furry</p>
            </blockquote>





	He peruvian green sauce

**Author's Note:**

> Based off of this ep of drake and josh 
> 
> http://touch.dailymotion.com/video/xse3a7_drake-josh-peruvian-puff-pepper-s3-ep-02_shortfilms
> 
> Again this is 110% not serious

Clyde clapped his hands together looking over the ingredients sprawled out on the table in front of him, a variety of different brightly colored vegetables decorated the display, sauces and tomatoes accompanied the lettuce, and the cheese sat in its natural place next to the cheese grater. "Time to make some tacos!" Clyde said excitedly dancing over to the half wall that held the disk player, he tapped the play button and made his was back to his cooking station.  
"Welcome to how to make tacos." A heavily hispanic accent replied.   
"With I, Jose Gomez"   
"Hola" clyde mocked striking a pose. He hummed as he looked over his ingredients once more, picking up the tomatoes for good measure.   
"First, you must take time to appreciate your ingredients"   
Clyde squeezed the ripe tomatoes in his hand checking to plumpness and color.   
"...as if they where a fine woman."  
He stepped back instantly placing the tomatoes on the counter in front of him backing away with eyes like a deer caught in a headlight. "Sorry mam..." He mumbled to the fruits. He whipped his hands on his apron and picked up the knives preparing for the next instructions.   
"Now, cut your tomatoes in to small chunks."  
Clyde did as instructed, placing a stray tomato on the cutting board as he made swift easy cuts with his knife. Around the corner token quietly walked in, observing Clyde being a complete and total dork. He scoffed and laughed at him behind his back as Clyde put on an display of embarrassing dance moves while cutting the tomatoes.  
"I call this, 'chunking the tomatoes'."  
"Chunking,the tomatoes!" He said over exaggerated, he laughed at himself then continued with the slicing. While Clyde was distracted, Token saw this as an opportunity to step in and play a harmless prank on the other boy. He tiptoed his way over to the cd player and quietly stopped the cd from playing. He took in a deep breath and tried his best hispanic accent to fit the voice from before.  
"But first! You must smell the tomato."  
Clyde looked up from his work with a confused expression plastered on his face.   
"Smell my tomato?!" He asked in an inquisitive tone, tilting his head to one side.   
"Inhale the aroma, by pressing it to your face with great force!"  
Clyde with out a doubt listened to the audio and forced the tomato up to his face, causing it to collapse and make a mess of itself. Token stumbled back slightly laughing to himself and approached the kitchen doors to great his victim. "Cute, very cute..." Clyde said as he rubbed his hands on the cloth, giving token a deathly glare.   
"Gracias me hermano!" He said taking a bow and throwing his hands up in triumph.   
"Look, I dont have time for your fucking jokes Token. I got a lot of tacos to make!"  
"For what dude?"  
"Uh, this years big taco fest! Its going to be bitchin'"  
"Pft whatever." Token said uninterested as he started to walk out the door.   
"Wait! I, I mean if you want man, you could be my, taco partner." He raised his eyebrows putting emphases on the last two words.  
"Wow. Wow really? Me, your taco parter? Well that, sounds completely gay." He folded his arms and proceeded to exit the room.  
"FINE, well if you dont help me you wont be able to win that life size hyper realistic extra strength Hatsune Miku blow up sex doll!" This caught tokens interest and he popped his head back through the door.  
"A hyper realistic Hatsune Miku blow up sex doll?"   
"MHm!" Clyde said proudly stirring his special green taco sauce.   
"L-like a life sized one? For our dorm?" He made a curvy hand gesture and licked his lips.  
"MHMmm!"   
"Just for winning some lame ass taco contest?"  
"MMMMMMMHM!" Clyde got up in tokens face untill he pushed him away.   
"Alright well will you stop hmming, we got some tacos to make!"  
"Alright well start chunkin up the tomatoes!"  
"Alright Im chunkin up the tomatoes!" Token took the knife from Clydes hand and recklessly beat down on the chopping block before they both herd a thick "tump". They looked down in shock to find that Token had accidentally nicked Clydes finger, well. Nicked was a slight miscalculation.   
"S-should i get the first aid kit?" Token said nervously.  
"Mmhmm...." 

\----------

Craig strolled in to find Clyde and Token making tacos, nothing out of the ordinary really. "Why are you guys making tacos" he asked in a monotone voice, not that he really cared at all. He walked past the two and reached into the refrigerator to gather some ingredients for breakfast. "So we can with this years taco making contest" clyde said lifting his head high. "And take home a life size hyper realistic blow up Hatsune Miku sex doll." Token added.   
"You mean one of those life sized ones with extra strength and glow in the dark lube?" Craigs eyes widened.  
"Thats right." Token gloated  
"Dude, can I be on you guys taco team?"  
"No." They both said together.  
"Why not fuck wads?!"  
"Well because when we win, that TVs going to go into our dorm. You dig?"  
"Why cant we put it in the living room so all our friends can witness its glory." Craig rolled his eyes as if that was the OBVIOUS choice.   
"Look, Craig buddy, this is our thing.we were into anime first" Clyde said gesturing between him and token."Why dont you join a guinea pig grooming contest or something?" "Ah yes" Token said patting Craig on the back. "Go on now we're trying to make some tacos."  
"Fine." Craig huffed. "Ill go, because Ive got 'things to do'"  
"What things...." Clyde asked  
"Things..." Craig squinted and flipped them off while walking out of the room.  
Clyde and Token continued to chop their tomatoes ad Craig left, they looked nervous as they begun to ponder over what Craig meant.  
"What do you think Craig meant when he said, 'things to do'" he pulled at his collar and looked back at the chopping board. "Craigs just trying to scare us dude, you know how much he loves Hatsune Miku..." They went back to chopping to try to distract their minds before Clyde spoke up again.  
"W-woah woah woah... What if hes up there right now in our dorm. Doing something."   
"Pftt. What could he possibly be doing in our dorm room?"  
They brushed off the comment and became busy again, but their minds still returned to what awful things Craig could be doing in their room right now,like jacking off to furry porn. They both looked at Each other in understanding before rushing out the door at the same time.   
"CRAIG"  
"GET OUT OF OUR ROOM DUDE!"

Craig stood up from his hiding position, he would chucking to himself, if he had a sense of humor. He rushed over to the pots and pans Clyde and Token had laid out and pulled out a package of suspicious ingredients. "Those fuckers wont take Miku from me..." He said as he dropped the items into one of their sauce pans, he smiled maliciously...

\----------

"CRAIG!" "CRAIG WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?" the boys burst through their dorm room knocking over pillows and blankets in search for Craigs used bad dragon dildos.   
"Do you see him anywhere?!" Token said, raising a golf club up to his face in defense.   
"No, i dont, but thats when he's most horny..." Clyde replied squinting his eyes and looking across the room. At that moment Cartman walked in carrying and empty bag of cheesy poofs, "AYE, which one of you fuckers ate the last-" "AAA" Token screamed holding up his weapon. "Holy shit! A black guy with a weapon!" Eric made his quick escape as Token was tempted to run after him and beat him after that racial comment.  
"Great we just gave Cartman a heart attack." Clyde said. "Yeah not like he'd get one from eating all those cheesy poofs anyways." Token smirked throwing his golf club on a nearby couch. "Well, back to making tacos..." 

\-----------

Token and Clyde returned to the kitchen eagerly to prepare their tacos once again. "Hey dude I think we have fresh cheese in the fridge." "no man, we have to get it fresh from a cow, like Cartmans mom." They both laughed but Clyde interrupted when he noticed something strange going on in the sauce pan.   
"I think theres something wrong with the sauce..." Token looked back from his position at the fridge and made his way over and inspected the pan. "Its...bubbling?"  
"Well why is it bubbling?"  
"I dont know is the stove off?"  
"Yeah."  
"Then why is it bubbling?"   
"I dont know Token, If i knew why it was bubbling I wouldn't be asking why it was bubbling!"  
"Haha, bubbling, thats a fun word to say..."  
Clyde gave a stern look of warning to Token but it was ignored.  
"Bubbling. Haha bubbling." He said vibrating his voice.

\-------

Outside Kyle, Stan, and Craig where sitting there watching "1000 ways to die" on Netflix, when suddenly a large boom exploded from the kitchen.  
They all stopped in place and Kyle clutched at his heart. "Jesus christ what was that." He asked with a shaky voice. "The fuck do I know?" Craig said munching on the remainder of his popcorn.   
Kyle and Eric both jumped out of their seats to go check out what had happened, when they arrived they found the kitchen and the two boys covered in green taco sauce.  
"Oh my fucking god, what happened?" Kyle asked. "Yeah it looked like someone had a diarrhea attack in here." "Dude, what the hell happened?!"   
Clyde and Token both looked down at the sauce pan with an endless stream unrecognizable of words coming out of their mouths. "T-the sauce exploded!" Clyde commented. "Well no fucking shit! You better not have gotten sauce all over any of my snacks!" Eric shrieked as Kyle tried to hold him back from attacking Clyde. "I-it wasnt our fault!" Clyde stammered "yeah!"   
"Well then what the fuck happened Clyde, huh." Eric said running over to the chip counter "you just think some magical elf nome came in here and took a huge shit all over everything?! Is that what you think Clyde? Huh?!" He grasped at his chips trying to rub the sauce off of the bags while a soft sniffling could be heard followed by "my...my babies its ok daddys here...". "No!" Token screamed. Kyle placed his hands on his hips and looked at them in disappointment. "You know how Eric feels about his food guys, whos fault was it?". Token and Clyde instantly looked at each other. "Craig that motherfucker..."  
"Right, right sure dude we all know Craig doesnt give two shits about anything." Kyle said rolling his eyes and pointing at Craig who wore a blank expression. "Clean this up guys dont be pussies." Kyle said putting a hand on Erics back and leading him, and his chips, out the door. 

"Man I am so pissed!" Clyde said grabbing some paper towels  
"You know Craig did this!"  
"Yeah but I hate how Kyle and Cartman think hes just sooo cool like, no dude, he's trying to steal Miku Hatsune from us!"  
"Hey, what if we give Kyle and Eric proof that Craigs not cool" Token said with a mischievous smile.  
"... What kind of proof?"  
"I bet if we go up to Craigs room we can find some, 'evidence'"   
"No, fuck no, Im not going into Craigs room to search for furry porn!"  
"No, no no, we'll go tomorrow, while he's at Tweek's house! He wont catch us, dont you want to prove to Kyle and Cartman that hes totally lame."   
"Ok! Yeah lets do it!" Clyde said in excitement.

\---------

The two sneaked around the corner, clyde gave hand signals for Token to follow as the approached the outside of Craigs door, the door was decorated with pictures of various guinea pigs in different little costumes. "Lame..." Token whispered, clyde shhed him with a finger and they contented forward. Token reached out for the door knob before Clyde stopped him  
"Wait!" He said. "Im afraid!" Token gave him a look that said 'really Clyde'.   
"I-i've never been in Craigs room before, have you?"   
"Yeah dude once when I was like 5."  
"And...?"  
"he... Pushed me out the window and told my mom I fell."   
"Im so fucking out of here."   
"Wait!"   
Token grabbed Clyde and turned him back around.   
"Shes at Tweeks house, come on!"  
They both cautiously stepped into the room on their tip toes as if something was going to jump out at them.   
"Look around, find some evidence that hes a furry, and lets get out of here" clyde remarked with a gulp.  
"Yeah, this place gives me the creeps..."   
"You see anything?" They shuffled through drawers and pushed off pillows.  
"Wait wait, clyde come here."  
"Yeah"   
"See this photo of us at casa bonita?"  
"Yeah?"  
"I look goooood B)"  
Clyde knocked the photo out of Tokens hand and gave him a stern look. "Will you please stay focused!"   
"Dude check the closet do you see anything in there?"  
"No man, it seems like butters mustve came out."  
"Oooo sick burn" they exchanged high fives and went back to searching.  
"Wait whats this Clyde said putting his ear up to the wall. Token followed close behind and did the same. "Yeah,I hear it too!"


End file.
